Negative Remarks Are Like Goatheads

Hurtful messages are like goathead weeds. They're hard to get rid of and they're very painful.

I had never heard of goathead weeds before moving to Idaho. I've since learned that they're also called puncturevine. Their scientific name is tribulus terrestris. They grow all over the town where I live and attach to the bottom of my shoes and my dog's paws.

When I read up on them, I learned that their seeds germinate quickly and can lie dormant for years. They have a long tap root and send out other fine rootlets making them very difficult to eradicate.

The burrs they produce (we just call them goatheads), contain their seeds, hook easily into whatever comes into their path, puncturing bike tires and at times causing serious injury to pets, live stock, and people.

The negative messages we're given when we're young, and even as adults, act like goathead weeds.

Just as goathead weeks germinate quickly and can lie dormant for years, childhood trauma and abuse, even when it seems mild, germinate inside of us. The negative effects can impact us in many different ways, with fine rootlets reaching into different parts of our lives.

Each unkind word or slight can feel like a goathead. They glom onto our minds and our spirits and are very difficult to eradicate.

Positive messages, on the other hand, can seem more like smooth marbles. They don't stick, instead rolling away and being hard to find when we need them.

Why is that?

Our memories are tied closely to our emotions. When we have strong feelings, we're more likely to remember whatever caused us to react strongly.

Hurtful, embarrassing statements bring strong emotional responses, which stick with us for years. Try as we might to let them go, they hold on tight, like emotional goatheads.

We can hear lots of positive statements but if something negative is said, they'll often be ignored and forgotten. Most encouraging words are so smooth and easy to hear, they act like emotional marbles, rolling away from us to be lost under a couch somewhere.

When my dog gets goatheads in his feet, I need to extract them as soon as possible. I can tell he needs my help when he begins to limp.

You may have negative messages that have caused you to "limp" for years. Over time, you may get use to living with the pain and not even be aware that you're limping. It's easy to become numb to the pain over time. And then something happens that brings it back in full force.

So, how do we get rid of emotional goatheads?

One powerful strategy is journaling. Writing can be a very healing way to begin to explore the areas where you struggle with emotional goatheads.

Write down memories attached to a past hurt. Notice the thoughts and assumptions that arise for you from those experiences. Explore those thoughts and assumptions, questioning them, and looking for the lies that have embedded into your soul. The lies are your emotional goatheads.

There are always lies attached. Here are some lies to look for:

You're stupid or ugly or worthless or clumsy or fat or inept or.... The lies go on and on.

Begin to recognize the lies you've believed about yourself. Once you see the lies for what they are you can begin to recognize them as lie whenever they pop into your mind.

Remember: there are no worthless people. You have value. Anytime you believe the opposite, you're believing a lie.